Thursday, April 8, 2010

C-U-Next-Thursday? Spells the same thing anyway.

I intended a completely different post for tonight, but today I witnessed something incredibly interesting. I decided to dust off the ol' C-U-Next-Tuesday tradition.

PHubby and I went to lunch today at what is essentially an upscale soup-salad-sandwich place with a wine menu and overpriced apps.

I was about to order a half-pot of french press while PHubby finished his organic beer, when several parties arrived to be seated within a few minutes of each other.

The hostess/waitress became very busy, so I chose to skip the coffee. While we waited for our bill, two women were seated at a table to my right, against the wall. The woman sitting on the booth side of the table began venting to her friend. Loudly.

Well, they're scheduling the ski trip now. They're doing the Alps again this year. And so I told him I don't want to give up my house in Idaho.
I want to go to Idaho, and it's my house. I should be able to go. It's my inheritance, after all. He does the ski trip with his inheritance.
When we married, I said, "Well, should I sell the house," and he said, "No, keep it."
I guess when I was single I didn't have to worry about such things, but since Peter came along ... there has to be a discussion. I mean, I'm used to doing things the way I like. Now, there's more to consider.


And, I just want to thank this lady. I mean, really. I had no idea how hard a person's life could be until she broadcast her misfortune loud enough for everyone in the entire fucking restaurant to hear.

Until today, I had no idea this world could be so dark, so unforgiving, so cruel. Someone should start an organization to help people in these situations.

Let's band together to fight heated discussions over vacation plans of the wealthy.


Pretty sure I've never seen a grown-up spoiled brat in the flesh until today. I had a rull hard time not smacking this stupid fucking cunt across her stupid blushy face and telling her about real problems. I mean, I feel pretty fucking grateful right now, and while I've had a few bright points this year, there have been some crappy times, too.

But you know what? I'm healthy. My kids are tucked safely into bed right now. My husband took me out for a nice lunch today. And, let's go ahead and address it: people still randomly offer me oral sex. My life is pretty sweet.

But there is real sadness and atrocity in this world. And I guarantee you, it has nothing to do with Bitchface McWaspy's vacation choices for next winter.

14 comments:

  1. Now here I was, all ready to champion her cause and become a founding member of BFRWFIST (bloggers for rich women forced into ski trips). But then I realized that if we go against richies instead it becomes BAR FIST. And that's just cooler. Sorry rich lady.

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  2. I think I just peed a little. What's even worse is, I think that was my ex-mother in law you were just describing (I live in Idaho). Who knew she could piss off so many random women just by simply - existing!? Thanks for the laugh!

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  3. Love the picture cause that is exactly how I imagined her! haha

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  4. I CANNOT believe the injustice here. IT IS HER HOUSE.

    I mean, with MY inheritance, I DEFINITELY plan on going to McDonalds. NO. YOU CAN'T STOP ME. IT'S MY MONEY!!!!

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  5. What a fucking wanker prat! I'll use my favourite Rome term and call her a Cunny

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  6. GUESS HOW MANY HOUSES I HAVE. I have one house. And thank GOD for that, I'm so blessed to own my own home (well you know -- sort of -- mostly owned by the bank but to-may-to to-mah-to)

    Guess where we're going on vacation? Day trip to the beach -- not staying over and guess what else? We're taking our own food because we can't afford to go out! But hell if I'm not THRILLED for that!

    Why are there people in the world like this? why? *sigh*

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  7. Curiosity: OMG. BAR FIST. It says everything. We really need a club.

    Spanky - your ex-mother-in-law!? You poor, poor girl.

    mariahsmile - How else would she look?

    Jules - Really. McDonald's. How very WASPy of you.

    llegl - Excelling use of "wanker," and I am now a fan of the term "cunny."

    Amanda - I'm doing the eye-to-eye gesture right now to your picture.

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  8. Oh honey, I hear ya. (btw thanks for the literal laugh out loud)

    I'm from Los Angeles. AND I went to fashion school (shhh, don't tell), so I've known my fair of spoiled brats. And I'm always in awe of them. Life must be tough when you've got it all. Just want to hand em a little punch of perspective.

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  9. There's something about being rich that seems to make a person inherently loud. The *worst* combination. Loving the illustration, v accurate.

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  10. If this were a movie, I'd stand up from my autitorim seat and make a mad face and at first you'd think I was going to berate you for swearing so much, then I'd start to clap REAL slowly: Clap. Clap. Clap.

    Then someone else would stand up and start clapping all slow-like, then the whole auditorium would start clapping, then someone would start chanting "Cunt! Cunt! Cunt!" and we'd all join in.

    Then you'd cry a little tear.

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  11. Peter is such a dick. He's really ruining this lady's life. I hope she leaves him and takes all of his money, so that she has even more money and shit to complain about.

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  12. Amen! Oh shit did I really just say that?.....

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  13. I just want to throw you much deserved props for that magnificent illustration. Those bangles practically drip douche-itude. Well done.

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  14. andygirl - Please don't start working for one of those gotcha-fashion shows and have me recorded in my yoga pants at the grocery store. It's one of my biggest fears.

    Jo - I think maybe there are some wealthy ninjas. You never really know they're wealthy. They just do good and disappear to Vail.

    Ells - That was awesome. At first, I thought, "OH NOES. I finally offended someone with my cursing." But, at the end, my heart was warmed and I was inspired.

    Simone - What a peter!

    Brianne - Yep!

    BugginWord - I was particularly proud of the bangles. Thank you.

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