I so appreciate those men (especially you and you, who've been around since I started blogging and have been awesome and encouraging) who stuck with me through the vulvas and OB/Gyn appointments. Blow jobs (related-posts) for everyone!
PHubby pointed out all the comments from men in the last post. He said they all googled "blow job naked cupcakes" and found me. Sorry to disappoint. :(
I'll make it up to you with a dirty emoticon: 8==D
(Psst. It's a penis and balls.)
Last night, PHubby and I were talking about marriage and sex and stuff, like ya do on Easter night. We were talking about philanderers.
Me: I don't get it. A married man already has at least two holes in which to stick his one penis. I mean, if he has an average wife. How many more holes does he really need? He can only occupy one at a time.
PHubby: What?
Me: Well, I mean that I feel I offer you plenty of intimacy. Two orifices per one penis is pretty good odds, I'd say.
PHubby: *confused look*
Me: Well, I won't let you stick it there, but, I'm not going for world's best wife. I'm aiming for fair-to-middling. That should be enough.
PHubby: That's great, honey. "I'm as good a wife as I can be, without subjecting myself to anal fissures."
Me: *nods*
*****************
I will pick a winner tonight for the latest contest. I'll announce it tonight or tomorrow. Hope you all had a happy Sunday that may or may not have been Easter for you. I ate so much ham. Also, when did Easter become Christmas: the Second Coming for kids? My kids got serious loot. Crazy.
Also, see that poll I posted six years ago about you people wanting more or less of my vagina?
(Over there, on the right.) Yeah, I'll do something about that at some point. I'm basically the best blog master ever. That cupcake design up there at the top of the page? Yeah. Made it myself. *polishes nails on vest*
Took me 90 seconds. Decided to change it about three months ago. There it stays. I'll get around to it. Right after that blow job I promised.
For those of you who haven't figured it out on your own, the dick is back. We here at Naked Cupcakes salute his dickishness and his decision to return to the blogosphere.
UPDATE: Just wanted to say that OF COURSE I appreciate all the ladies who read and comment and have been super nice and supportive since I started blogging. I was just pointing out how "blow jobs" brought the boys 'round. K. Just wanted to clarify. Love the ladies. Love the gents. You're all awesome. *throws candy*
For those of you who haven't figured it out on your own, the dick is back. We here at Naked Cupcakes salute his dickishness and his decision to return to the blogosphere.
UPDATE: Just wanted to say that OF COURSE I appreciate all the ladies who read and comment and have been super nice and supportive since I started blogging. I was just pointing out how "blow jobs" brought the boys 'round. K. Just wanted to clarify. Love the ladies. Love the gents. You're all awesome. *throws candy*
LOL! We were talking about vaginas and detachable penises at our Easter gathering. And it wasn't just me and the hubs talking.
ReplyDeleteWell we love you back. Of course, I'd love you more if that was REAL candy you were throwing *pouts*.
ReplyDeleteI think that wives who provide that third hole are honestly overachieving. Any guy who thinks that's the status quo should thank AGAIN. Maybe tha'ts why they cheat -- looking for the always elusive anal fissure.
That's the first emoticon I have ever considered using.
ReplyDeletetechnically, there are three orifices per one penis available. you really don't want to give that blow job, do you?
ReplyDeleteOooooh, pick me!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe question that I'm wondering: are dudes that are anal into anal or not into anal?
ReplyDeleteJust think of all the hilarious blog posts you could get out of trying to go for "world's best wife"! ;p
ReplyDeleteLamb’s Most Recent Post: Cruising, HGTV Green Home, CRAZY Sexy Nerd and LAZY Me
Did you get that picture of of Paula Dean on the side? You should see if you can find one of her holding the pepper mill between her tits just to keep it spicy for the male fan base ;-) Add some more eye candy for those dirty minds like ours
ReplyDeleteBack in my student days there was a flat* of 6 girls. They named their place the golf course!
ReplyDelete*flat means shared accommodation in New Zealand
I see your 8==D and raise you a ({}).
ReplyDeleteHells to the yeah.