Seriously, bloggers, entertain me! No one is posting. Everyone is all "I'm bloated and hungover and I don't have the inspiration to be interesting/funny/whatevs."
Sucks to your asmar!
I've had about enough of your ennui.
Here I am, in my pajamas, in charge of a house with two cats and two preschoolers, which is like being the only human in the house with four unreasonable, stingy elves who do things like tear up your furniture, wipe snot on you, and demand food and hugs. Also, there's a lot of excrement to be cleaned, and more than once I've been accidentally head-butted in the crotch.
Phubby is at his Grandma's funeral, half the continental states away. He read me the poem he wrote to read at her funeral, and it's heartcrushingly sweet and sad.
I need the entertainment, peops. There's only so much "Clean House" I can watch before I actually clean my own.
I'm going to go make a bowl of iron-rich mussels. When I get back to the Internetz, I expect to see something good. Or the Internet is getting a timeout.
And I do not fuck around with timeouts.
I will set the timer, and the Internet will stay seated on the step, or I will start it all over again.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH! I was thinking about blogging today.
ReplyDeleteI was also thinking about going to the gym.
I'm still thinking. About both.
I asked Andrew if he would come to the gym with me for motivation and he said no. But he did promise me a night of "unimaginable romance" when I got back. That probably means he will have done the dishes and cooked the squash I set out for dinner.
I can't believe I'm not even 30 yet...
I should have made this a competition. Then, I could have sent you something as a prize. Like all the Christmas decorations I don't want anymore, or a picture drawn by one of my cats.
ReplyDelete(By the way, that means "thank you for posting.")
ReplyDeleteMussels??? Ummm...blech.
ReplyDeleteI blogged today, but it's really not very interesting. However, it does involve the words "blowjob" and "handy" and "plastic pussy". So yeah. There you go.
Miss Yvonne! You're brilliant!
ReplyDeleteYou had me at "blowjob" and then again at "plastic pussy."
Somehow, through some strange fluke, I wasn't officially following your blog on blogger. Whyyyyy, whyyyy? *Shakes fist at sky*
I fixed it.
Okay, Sarah P. Because I am insanely self-centered, I am going to assume that this entire post was directed at ME.
ReplyDeleteHow dare you?
I wrote something today, and it involved some whining, but it had other words in it for you to read, and one or two (when strung together) are funny (to me).
AND I wrote something else, but I gotta save it for tomorrow so I can let it simmer for a bit first.
So just because I actually wrote something the other day that basically said I am too busy dying to write, I am still WILDLY entertaining.
Love and kisses,
V
Got some new readin's for you, ho' bag!
ReplyDelete