Some of those opinions are quite insightful. Some of them are just plain idiotic.
Some people look fucking brilliant because they have amazing grammar skills and vocabulary that makes the average reader run for http://www.merriam-webster.com/. Do not be fooled. Many of these people lack rational thought or basic human tolerance, kind of like Hitler.
Others can't spell, don't understand and/or know the proper phrasing of idioms, and fail to grasp basic sentence structure. Still, they sometimes have something worthwhile to add to a debate or discussion.
The rest of the people on the Internet are either stupid and illiterate OR are just plain average.
This post is for the illiterate-but-functional who want to avoid being laughed off the World Wide Web by those who paid attention in 4th grade.
Pull up a chair next to this crackling fire, dear Interneters, and let's discuss things you should already know. I'll try to update this as I see other tragic mistakes.
1. The ellipsis. Space, three periods, space. Not eleven periods. Three. Get it? OK. Let's try ... this way. Great. There are some other technical rules about end-of-sentence punctuation and the ellipsis, but the "dot, dot, dot" method will get you through most situations.
2. Supposedly. Say it out loud. There's a D in there, not a V. If you use "supposively," you are not only wrong but supposedly failing 9th grade. If you pronounce the word with a "V," you can plan on being assistant customer service manager until retirement. You will never get a promotion.
3. Definitely. Two "E"s, two "I"s. No "A"s. That middle word in there? It's "finite." Pronounce it like that in your head. De-FINITE-ly.
Don't be sad if you've made these mistakes. I'm a journalist and could tell you all sorts of fun mistakes I or my friends have made. In fact, I might one day write a post about them. Until then, please, for the love of blog, work on the ellipsis. It's the easiest to remember.
Very sincerely, with kisses and stuff,
Your very condescending, very naked cupcake blogger,
Sarah
P.S. I'm looking forward to figuring out the mistakes I made in this post. Then I'll be all, "See what you get for being preachy, dumbass? Now no one will ever want to read your blog." Then, I'll be like, "So? No one reads it now."
I haven't come across too much "supposively." Plenty of "supposably," though!
ReplyDeleteGood point on the ellipsis. I always, always, just about always leave the spaces out.
I love spelling and grammar Nazi’s, they and every snide remark they come with are welcome. They will break and run for the cover, frothing at the mouth as they go before I do….
ReplyDeleteMy belief – “It is much better to try and say it, even if you get it wrong, then sit silently quivering in the corner"
Thx BL. Your awsum ........and stuff.
ReplyDelete(P.S. This blog is for idiotic rambling. In the future, please refrain from making sense.)
You just blew my mind. While I adhere to the three period rule, I've never put that space between the first word and the ellipsis. I revoke my self-imposed title of "Grammar Nazi" and am now just a step above "2nd grade reading level."
ReplyDeletePS- I proofread this comment 3 times before posting.
I don't think the spaces are technically required. It depends on the style you use.
ReplyDeleteIn AP style, we use the spaces - I think because on the keyboard, the spaces format the ellipsis. I could be wrong, and that sentence sucked.
I'm not a grammar nazi, just your average asshole.
"Nazi" is supposed to be capitalized. Shit. I'm going to spelling hell.
ReplyDelete"Hell" is capitalized, too.
ReplyDeleteSorry Sarah I did not read the small print before I made my last comment. I should have said
ReplyDelete"Wibble, wibble, snort, it was the cheese that done it"
I think hell and god-damn are only capitalized if you mean it!
ReplyDeleteAlthough, in this case, "Hell" is used as a proper noun and therefore deserves capitalization.
ReplyDeleteOMG, Jilly. You get me. Wanna make out?
ReplyDelete