I'm not going to get into specifics, but I believe Miss Yvonne suggested *crickets.*
Well. I must publicly admit that she was right.
I responded like the rest of you a-holes wanted me to, and I'm the one who has been *crickets*ed.
He obviously didn't get the outrageous hilarity of the response, so now I look like the creeper sending inappropriate Facebook messages.
AND the only thing that would make me weirder now is if I wrote another message.
"Oh, hahaha. J/K. Funny story. That wasn't a real response. I just let my blog readers decide how I would respond to you. Not that I blog about you regularly. It's a humor blog. Not, like, one of those journals or whatev ... Um, some people have read it, but I don't really like to just give out the address. It could ruin my career. Not because I rant or anything. Because I talk about genitalia. Not your genitalia specifically. Really, I don't remember anything about it. Not because it's not memorable, because I'm sure it's quite grand! I'm sure it looked very nice in the light of the movie theater in 10th grade, but it was a long time ago, OK? Just because ... you know what? Here's the blog address: http://nakedcupcakes.blogspot.com. Please don't tell my boss or my old teachers. Sorry I'm an asshole."
So, awesome. Now, I'm on the bad side of the most awkward Facebook exchange ever.
Rating: Not well played.
or you could just say, what? can't take a joke?
ReplyDeleteYou could ask him if his dick was still as small as it was back in the day.
ReplyDeleteOh, these moments. [sigh] They pass.
ReplyDeleteBecause facebook has a delete button for commments.
Awkwardness for the win! I've most certainly been there, when written word fails to relay a joke properly. I think this is one of those moments you casually walk (very quickly and not awkwardly guilty) away and ignore the situation like it didn't happen.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he only facebooks at work. You'll just have to wait until Tuesday for your response.
ReplyDeleteEither that, or block him.
It's hard to see my genitalia in a movie theater. This makes me self-conscious.
ReplyDeleteI blogged about a bottle of mayonnaise.
Take a look, pardners:
iamyourblog.blogspot.com
Well then he only cemented his status as being unworthy of even obsessing over you, obviously. You'll find your pubescent-era stalker soon enough, you just have to believe!
ReplyDeleteIt is a long weekend. A weekend almost as long as his ginormous pubescent member. Oh ew. Grossed myself out again...
ReplyDeleteLol! (I'm pretty sure that the penises of grade-10 boys are pretty unremarkable. Also, I'm pretty sure that grade-10 boys haven't figured out how to operate them, um, successfully. So I'm sure you're fine. =))
ReplyDeleteAny other little life challenges we can clear up for you? Issues with your boss? Your parents? Your Gynecologist?
ReplyDeleteWe are problem solvers.
screw that idiot (not literally, because 1) you're married and 2) he wins if you do that). he's an ex for a reason. you don't need his validation or approval. you have ours. we love you.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure he's just tabulating the results of a reader poll he took on his blog, "High School Handies," before he responds to your comment.
ReplyDeleteFuck 'em if he can't take a joke! tee hee
ReplyDeleteActually, he's probably freaking out because lately he has been exhibiting the early signs of Alzheimer's, and he can't remember that incident under the bridge.
ReplyDeleteWrite him back to comfort him. Assure him that it's ok, he's probably not losing his mind, and playing games like sudoku or doing cross word puzzles are a good way to exercise his brain.
I laughed so hard when I read this I squirted coffee out my nose! And I don't even know what's going on cuz I just got here!!!
ReplyDeleteglitterfrog.blogspot.com
Cricketsed is my new favorite verb. Works well as a gerund, too. As in: I'm cricketsing my ex, because she be buggin'.
ReplyDeleteHa! You may want to keep an eye on FAILbooking for that one. I agree with Didactic Pirate here, please allow us to assist you in even more life issues!
ReplyDeleteWell, that ought to teach you a lesson about peer pressure then, huh? :)
ReplyDeleteOnce again, you have made me snicker out loud and my cat thinks I'm crazy.
ReplyDeleteYes, that's totally why. What are you implying?
Actually, I suggested F with an extra "I must have confused you with your dad" at the end. But I'm glad you linked to me because AWESOME! Yeah! Up top!
ReplyDeleteI never choose *crickets* in my own life. I probably should though. You probably should have also. But I'm oh so glad you didn't, on account of giving me something awkwardly awesome to read today.
You're not going into specifics? You mean I have to go and count votes and figure out MYSELF which response won??? C'mon. Don't make me have to do hard stuff.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I missed this!!! I would have voted C though. Oh well. I guess I suck at life.
ReplyDeleteThis happened to me a couple years ago, except I was so surprised at how old my ex looked (he is 5 years older than me) I wrote the highly inappropriate, "Wow, you look much older than I would have thought you would look at 34ish!" on his facebook wall. Not really thinking that it would be considered incredibly rude. He deleted my comment (after not seeing it for days) and then wrote me an email that made me feel like total shit.