Being a relatively creepy person who regularly makes strangers uncomfortable, I am also very understanding when people act inappropriately. A caveat: I am a judgmental asshole about what types of impropriety are acceptable. For example, I recently picked up a poop dollar.
Are you familiar with the game?
In poop dollar, a person wipes a one-dollar bill in poop and leaves it somewhere where others might pick it up. Then, the person who created the poop dollar yells "poop dollar" from a hiding spot.
Well, dear readers, I was the passerby. I was on vacation, walking down to the beach, when I saw a dollar on the ground in the sand. I thought a kid must have dropped it on his way to meet the ice cream truck. I picked it up. Then, I heard some teenage boys yelling "poop dollar" from their condo deck nearby. I pretended not to hear them, threw the poop dollar beyond the fence of the restricted dunes, walked down to the water, and washed my hands in the ocean where millions of people pee every day.
A few minutes later, I walked back up to the street, ignoring the "poop dollar" cries, took note of the condo's address and called the police to report teenagers smoking marijuana on the deck of that condo.
In another circumstance, I probably wouldn't have done that. But, it was senior week, and they'd been loud and partying on their deck late into the wee hours each day. Never would I have wanted to bust them for partying during their senior week, until they played poop dollar on me. I hope they had to pour out all their beer.
How was your vacation?
Nice. I've been toying with telling the neighbor across the street that a boy leaves his house (where his teenage daughter is alone) every day right before he comes home... One wrong move missy, and I OWN you...
ReplyDeletei like your sneaky form of revenge!
ReplyDeletemy vacation fortunately didn't feature any poop. well, i mean, i did my own, but it was in a proper poop receptacle and i didn't need to give it much thought.
was the rest of your vaca good?
this is why i don't carry cash - we have NO idea where it has been, who touched it, who wiped their ass with it. oh god. blaaaaaaaaaaaah. this is really fucking with my OCD!
ReplyDeleteNice! POOP dollar!! I have a confession to make ... it was me yelling poop dollar. =) I wish I had learned this game on the bus. Who are we kidding I could never follow through with it. My sick my mind wonders if it occurred at 10:30am aka poop thirty around this neck of the woods. Tuesday is the stinkiest day in case you were wondering.
ReplyDeleteI would have retaliated with a gift of poop six-pack or poop keg. You can probably figure out how that gets set up.
ReplyDeleteGrownup revenge is the best. And apparently that peeing in the ocean thing has been going on for some time. I heard someone on the radio the other day say that every glass of water we drink is dinosaur pee. And my vacation was great, thanks for asking.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting... I really like it... Thank you so much...
ReplyDeleteHaha! I love you. I once had to pour all my beer out late at night, on the beach. I'm embarrassed to say it wasn't at senior week, it was at age 25. Someone called the cops on me because they saw me with a six pack I thought I'd disguised through double bags.
ReplyDelete*gigglesnort* That is so gross and so hilarious at the same time. I have a sick sense of humor. Not to the extent of these kids....but I do like to cash in my ones after I write "this has been in a strippers g-string" on them. :D
ReplyDeleteI wish you'd come back and write some more stuff.
ReplyDelete