Y'all read Doc Cynicism, right? If not, you should. Cynicism 101 has been the Shrimpanzee Site of Awesomeness for a long time. I'm about to switch that up to highlight another site. One of these days. Eventually, I'll do it. I'm also going to paint my toenails tonight. Like I said I was going to do every night for the past week.
Today, Professor Cyn posted a guest blog I wrote for him. It's about fingerbanging and parenting. In a normal way.
But, you shouldn't just read him today. You should read him every six weeks. Because that's how often he posts. (You see why I like him so much.)
Some examples of the good doctor's work from our most recent emails:
"I knew something was 'just not right' with Cynicism101 for the longest time - and you made me realize that I had a severe lack of fingerbanging posts. Thank you so much for correcting my blog, and my life."
Of course, after I read that, I asked if I could quote his email, and I received the following response.
"Sure thing - quote whatever you like. And entirely unrelated, yes I'm jealous that your emails end in 'Sent from my iPad.'
Best,
Dr. C
Sent from my broken piece of shit circa 2002 Dell laptop"
So, check out True Life: Sarah P Didn't Get Fingerbanged over at Cynicism 101 and stick around for other crap he posts, now that you know he'll post anything. (He's of a whore.)
Oh! And he's even more anonymous than I am, so make sure you don't tell his coke dealer about the blog.
Happy trails, motherfuckers.
that was delightful! i thoroughly enjoyed your fingerbanging story.
ReplyDeletebtw, i sometimes think of you when i hug my meatheaded little cat who doesn't like hugging. i tell her it's for her own good, even if it does count as rape snuggles.
<3 That warms my heart. I also love your movie theater pervert story. It's Shrimpanzee worthy.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what Shrimpaneze means, but it sounds like something I got from sleeping with your mom.
ReplyDeleteOff to check out your guest post.
Awesome guest post over at Dr. C.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part is that the place is just called SPORTS. Fucking ridiculous.
ooo, i feel so honored to see that i earned a link from the shrimpanzee!
ReplyDeleteWow... I had to take a quick "whore's bath" after reading this. You just worked me harder than any blogger has ever done before.
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, thanks so much for teaching class over in my neck of the woods. My readers love you, your readers love you, everyone loves you - I bet even Chris still loves you to this day.
just to make sure you get my comment that i posted on the site:
ReplyDeletebrilliant!
reminds me of the time my boyfriend, adam, told everyone in our 9th grade class that he snagged my virginity.
oh, wait, that was me who told everyone.
p.s. write more
Ed - My mom reads here sometimes, and I warned her about you.
ReplyDeleteKev D. - Right?! The whole place smelled like rubber. Maybe should have been my first clue.
Sherilin - The Shrimpanzee is wise.
Dr. Cynicism - A whore's bath includes feet. Did you wash your feet? *staring at you*
Simone Says - You told everyone!? I knew I liked you.
That. Was. Epic.
ReplyDeleteIt almost makes me want my son to one day pull a Chris so that I can honor Chris's mom with a bus announcement.
True grit is making a decision and standing by it,doing what must be done.
ReplyDelete———————————————————————
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I commented over at the good doctor's. Great story. Not as graphic as I had hoped though. Also, why don't you buy some gold already?
ReplyDeleteUm. Dr. Cynicism is not only the male version of me, but he is my virtual lover.
ReplyDeleteThank you for pimping him out. He deserves it.
Speaking of, I need a cupcake. Did you know, they are, in fact my favorite things?
Did you stop blogging because I'm stalking you now? Not cool, Cupcake. Not cool.
ReplyDeleteWait, is that a hybrid of a shrimp and a chimpanzee?
ReplyDelete'Cause I'm on board.
I've never read Dr. C., but I will now!
ReplyDeleteHow hysterical can an anonymous blogger be? Apparently, off the charts. Thanks for the recommendation!
As much as I'd like for this post to remain the first one on your blog's homepage, I'd rather you just start posting again.
ReplyDelete(And yes, I totally washed my feet)
so glad brooke and mackenzie #FF'd you, im hooked!
ReplyDelete