C-U-Next-Tuesday (I know it's Wednesday, suck it)

I would have skipped C-U-Next-Tuesday this week, but I suddenly found a topic perfect for the true meaning of the weekly holiday.

And, again, it's Food Network-related.

I was cruising the Net for some ideas for my other, very neglected blog, when I found this article titled "Giada De Laurentiis' Recipe for a Happy Life."

Talking points (I'm in red)

Pregnancy
"Like many women, Giada had to struggle with her weight after giving birth.
Nodding in sympathy here. I can relate. I'm interested to see what a professional chef has to say about losing the baby pounds. It's hard work for people who don't cook for a living. I'll continue to read ...

 
'I gained 22 pounds (Wait. What?), which doesn't sound like much (I gained that in a trimester, you lightweight, superficial, overpriveleged bitch), but I'm only 5'3" (You're Thumbelina with teeth and tits), so it was a lot (Bet you looked like the fat fairy from Cinderella) for my height,' she says. 'Because I had a C-section (Break out the violins), I couldn't work out for a long time afterward (Violins? Hell, order cake! This is a pity party, people!), so I knew the best way for me to lose weight was through diet (cancel cake),'"according to the article on the Shape Web site.

Giada, thank you so much for your pregnancy wisdom. And Shape, thank you. Thank you for being a publication that doesn't so much support eating disorders and unhealthy self-image as it does demand them.

According to the March of Dimes, which is an organization that knows a leetle something about healthy pregnancy, women should gain 25 to 35 pounds in a normal, healthy pregnancy.

5-foot-3-inches is not so unbelievably short that 22 pregnancy pounds is a lot. In fact, it doesn't fall into the weight gain range of a "normal, healthy pregnancy."

I gained 90 pounds.

That's right.

I gained a Giada, and I had more than her entire pregnancy weight gain to lose after the twins had been born and the water retention was gone.

So, Giada, NO, 22 pounds is not a lot for your height. It's not even the minimum recommended pregnancy weight gain.

Be warned:  if I am ever pregnant again and I come across an article in which you spout off about a less-than-normal-weight-gain, I will eat you to feed my unborn child.

You are weak, but all that olive oil you eat could really do wonders for my baby's placenta.