Mandatory Sex Party

*The following post is absolute bullshit. It is in support of a campaign started by this disturbed but fucking hilarious individual to make the term "mandatory sex party" Internet legit. 2 Internet Legit 2 Quit. Take that, Hammer.
**I don't even know.

Mandatory Sex Party, the British boy band hailed by critics as "Nearly, but not exactly, like every other shitty manufactured singing group of the 1990s," was created by music legend Ty Suits to market to money-hungry labels who were still kicking themselves in their own crotches for not signing Britney Spears when they had the chance.
Mandatory Sex Party was quickly snatched up by OneHit Productions, getting the group in a studio immediately to begin recording their one and thankfully, only, album Spanks A Lot, from Yours Truly.
The title track was nominated for a Grammy, and the the group won a VMA for the music video featuring the soulful ballad, Rug Shagging.
In the video, lead singer Ty Douchebahgs is invited to a birthday party for a pal, only to find out when he arrives that it actually is a mandatory sex party.
He is promptly given a number and then molested by two classmates and, inexplicably, a professional footballer of some note.
The camera focuses away from the scene, and the viewer is left to watch the movement of a shag rug while Douchebahgs' three bandmates wail and cry about the tragedy unfolding seemingly before their eyes.
Some criticized the video, saying it encouraged kids not to step in when another teen is dragged into a mandatory sex party, but the quartet defended the video by claiming it served as a public service announcement.
Jim "The Dirty" Johnson, the "older brother" band member, was quoted on the matter in the September 1999 issue of TeenSquirt magazine.
"I mean, we didn't choose 'Mandatory Sex Party' just because it was a cool band name. We're trying to raise awareness about the very real consequences of these parties. I know from personal experience that there's no such thing as legal mandatory sex."
The band's spokesman Larry Jakaugh later qualified Johnson's remark, saying, "Jim Johnson recently was quoted in TeenSquirt magazine on the subject of mandatory sex parties. Although the band has chosen to speak out against such parties, Johnson has never thrown or participated in those types of gatherings. We will answer no further questions on the subject."
Accepting the VMA, Douchebahgs read from a statement that, although obviously written, made many wonder whether it was actually prepared or even reviewed by anyone other than Douchebahgs.
"We would just like to thank God for Mandatory Sex Party's success," Douchebahgs said, holding the award up toward the heavens. When the applause died down, he continued, "I know I speak for the members of the band, our label, OneHit Productions, and our manager, Ty Suits, when I say this video has changed the world. Those who have been affected by mandatory sex parties can count on this band to see them through."
Later that night, Douchebahgs was photographed in compromising positions with a 16-year-old fan. They were at a "VMA celebration party," but several teens later said it was, in fact, a mandatory sex party. Douchebahgs denied the claim, adding that he thought the fan was much older. He never faced charges.
OneHit Productions soon dropped the band from the label. Mandatory Sex Party later worked to produce a second album, Up Yours with Gratitude, but rumors of a split and Johnson's drug and legal troubles got in the way. The album, thank Christ, was never completed.

Copy and paste this orange and blue "ribbon" on your Web site to support the cause.

(I'm not a fucking graphic designer, OK? This is the best I can do.)

Edit: I have no idea why two people in this article are named Ty. Lack of creativity, prescription medication? Who knows?